Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I think this post will cause a firestorm, and frankly, I'm okay with that. Not for page views, not for talk about it, but because I feel that what I am about to say...needs to be said. 

I am white. And according to some people, that makes me an automatic racist

Okay, that was a big statement, let me back up....

This isn't the first time I've been in the middle of a race discussion. I'm quite passionate about the subject.

One started when someone mentioned that there was white people on the subway, must be tennis season. 

Another one started when someone said that "that's such a white thing". 

And finally, the one I'm writing about started when I read a blog post, linked by someone I follow on Twitter. This blog post was written by a mama, to a little boy, who asked for a white barbie doll for Christmas. The mother basically went through this whole identity thing, and why did he want a white doll, etc, (I'm paraphrasing...obviously) and one of the lines she said to him (and I quote this part) after he asked why she wouldn't buy it for him was: “Because YOU aren’t white! Why would you want white Barbie?”
*hold. the. phone.* I chuckled, surely this mother was kidding..right? I mean..there was really no way she could honestly say that because she was black, she was refusing to buy her son a white doll. 


Here's my issue with this. I'm not judging this mom. This has happened more than just this one occasion....on twitter, in real life.

If I were to say to my son...No, H-Man you cannot have the black one because WE AREN'T BLACK! I would be a racist. Instantly. No questions asked.

When I'm not a racist at all. I would give my son a black doll, a white doll, a purple, pink or rainbow polka-dotted doll. I would teach him that even though we are not that race, there is nothing wrong with being that race. Just the same as people who do not have brown hair like you, aren't wrong. 

To me, this is breeding racism. Telling my son that he can't have something because we aren't that race sends the message that there is something wrong with being that race.

I'm a single mother. H-Man's father is in no way, shape, or form a part of his life. Here's the thing: I don't want my son judged because of it. Does that mean I'd NOT let him have a "Daddy" doll? Of course not. All families are different. Some have two mommies, some have no daddy, some have a black mommy and a white daddy, some have two daddies, some have no mommy or daddy and only have grandma and grandpa. 

I don't want my children to grow up in a society that breeds racism. That breeds white people to stay with white 'things' and black people to stay with black 'things'. I don't want my children to grow up in a place that they are considered racist because they aren't that race. 

It's not just white people who could be racist. 

Do you know how many people have called me "so white"? What is that? As opposed to, what, ..."kind of white"? Is that really a way to describe someone? Someone told me because I spoke proper English and had good made me ''so white''. Are you kidding me?  Now turn the tables, if I had said to a ___(insert different race here)__  the flip side of that, I would have been racist. Racism works both ways. 

Racism isn't defined by being black, white, purple, yellow or green. Racism is defined as 'hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.' There's nothing in that definition that says only a certain race can be racist. Or a certain race could have racism against them.
Now, I understand...I'm not black, I don't 'get it'. And if you thought this, you'd be right. I don't 'get it'. I don't know where other races are coming from. But in the same respect, they don't know where I'm coming from either. Having this kind of attitude, isn't going to help 'it' either. It's not going to help us get any closer to there being no all races being equal and loved and accepted and appreciated. Just the same.

*I approve all comments, but I ask them to be respectful of everyone. I only keep comment approval on so I can actually read them. ;)*


  1. I'm black, so I'll tell you - I'm not bothered by your post and I happen to agree with you. I was told that I was acting 'white' while growing up because I listened to certain music and was 'articulate' (I hate that word). And this was from my black friends and family. I can't speak on any other group, but we have our own issues and divisions in the black community, so I'm not sure how we find time to talk about anyone else. LOL!

    But again, I don't disagree with you. I know because of discussions that I had with some other black people that some people don't believe there is such a thing as 'reverse' racism. (The implication that 'racism' is strictly from white -> other races.) My personal belief is there is.

  2. I agree with everything you said and I am so happy someone is speaking up about it! It def goes BOTH ways!

  3. Oh how I love you. I agree with you 100%. Racism works in ALL directions. Anyone can be racist against another race.

    Racism really really really pisses me off. You have NO idea how bad it pisses me off. I am the furthest thing from racist.

    I'm white (Greek) and went to a high school where whites were the minority. Even if I wanted to be racist (which I don't) you had to learn tolerance or get your ass beat. LOL. My parents have a black employee who has LIVED with us IN OUR house since I was 5 years old. I call him Uncle Richard...He's more of an uncle to me than the real ones...

    My best friend's husband is EXTREMELY racist. I always call him out on it. He often responds to me with, "Why does it bother you. I'm not talking about YOUR race." Um it bothers me because I don't like racist people and I don't want racism in my house or around me or my children. I have friends of every color, I have friends of every sexuality, every religion, etc. If I hate someone its not based on their color, who they want to date/marry or what religion they are.

    My children will grow up knowing & tolerating EVERY race and religion. My father in law was complaining about one of his tenants one day and he said the "N-word". I didn't rip into him because he is 84 years old and literally doesn't know any better. I was still pregnant so I just looked at him and told him "Dad, we don't use those types of words in our house and if you ever want Demi to visit you at your house you won't use those words either."

    Why did I let it go so easily with him? Because he is 84 years old. He was part of the generation that was bred to dislike people based on their color. It's impossible to change an old persons mind like that. My parents are younger..they are 50 and 60. They aren't racist. I'm almost 30. I'm not racist. My children will not be either.

    Hopefully with more people like you and I around we can wash out racism and teach people tolerance of everyone.

    Once again, sorry for my novel.

  4. Excellent post; I couldn't agree more.

  5. Thank you for having the courage to talk about these issues. My favorite writer on this topic is Tim Wise. I'm not sure if you've ready any of this posts?
    Here's a recent one: